5.27.2008

A big 'ole vent...(warning...very very long)

I tend to allow myself to feel guilty when I spend part of my day working on something creative. I don't know why I do this...why should I feel guilty for doing something that I enjoy so much? And the things that I'm creating right now are being done to sell...to bring in some cash to make up for the $$ that I gave up when I quit my job. Even though I wouldn't be making any $$ by working and putting Emily in daycamp for the summer...AND driving 30 miles round trip to work. (with gas prices as outrageous as they are.) I'd honestly be putting out far more money each week than I brought home in a paycheck weekly. So...I'm planning to sell some of my crafts and will probably be listing a bunch of scrappy stuff on Ebay to make a little extra this summer. Maybe a bit of play money. Maybe enough to make me NOT feel so guilty.

But to have things to sell, I must take time to create them.

So today I made sure I got a few things done before I moved into the scraproom to play. I scrubbed a bathroom, vacuumed our bedroom really good, cleaned the kitchen and put the laundry away. I also made sure the kitchen was clean and things were all picked up for the most part. I spent the rest of the day in the scraproom. Till it was time to get Emily anyway.

This evening, there was an important school board meeting that I felt the need to attend. I wanted to see what progress, if any, was being made with rethinking the vote on flipping the start times for our High Schools and Middle Schools. Even though the minds are made up of those that voted for this. Looks like Josh will start school at 9:30 am and not get out till close to 4:30 each day. So much for after school activities. So much for after school jobs...too bad for those that depend on their HS students to watch their younger elementary school siblings. All of this and more...and our trusty school board voted 4-3 to go ahead with this. All for a measly 2.3 million dollars in the transportation budget.

Nevermind that there is more than $30 million in a "reserve" fund...for rainy days...emergencies...etc. Nevermind that we gave them ideas to MAKE money to not necessarily have to cut from one area to make up for another.

Anyway...I attended this meeting tonight because OUR local school board rep was bringing to the table, ideas to make $$ to make up for the transportation issues. Our rep was trying to have just ONE of the FOUR that voted for this, to rethink their vote...to reconsider bringing it up for further discussion and a possible revote later. After all options are looked at, etc. etc. Giving everyone involved a chance to look at every single possibility...giving everyone the chance to educate themselves on the matter.

Well...THREE of the FOUR board members left in mid meeting for other obligations. (graduation ceremonies, apparently) So that left ONE person to hear what our rep had to say. JUST ONE...the other three didn't feel this was an issue important enough to listen to...and that ONE person said that she would consider listening to other options from our County Superintendent but was standing strong on her vote and WOULD NOT reconsider bringing it back for rediscussion with the board. As one of the local news stations put it..."Hundreds of students and parents protest in vain...the decision stands for now." The Superintendent says to expect the change to be in effect for next school year. He also says that he is "optimistic" that they can come up with ideas for this but that he's not sure that it will be in time for the next school year.

Personally, I don't think it will be a priority to them to try and work it out this summer. I think they'll just wait it out and see how it goes. See how much trouble it really causes next year before they actually start talking about changing it back.

I feel like we're banging our heads against the wall. So many people are against this idea...this will effect pretty much every single person in Orange County. So many parents and students are standing up and voicing their opinions and concerns about this. And it feels like everything is falling on deaf ears. So many people have stated that they feel there's more to the picture than the school board is telling us. Its so absurd...and hard to believe that they're not skirting around the REAL issue. Not telling us the entire story. Its like they had their minds made up before even bringing it out to the public.

What a mess!! I sure hope the many Orange County residents that are so angry at this outcome will remember this and reconsider THEIR vote when consider to re-elect these officials.

FRUSTRATING, I tell ya.

I finally get home close to 9pm and find that Emily was sent to her room for smarting off to her dad. She was upset, obviously and I don't agree with the comment that she made to her dad. But, I can understand her frustration after hearing what happened. Immediately, I feel guilty for not being home tonight...not being home to make sure everyone gets fed, etc. Maybe had I been home, I could have prevented the smart remark that Emily made to Alex.

WHY DO I TAKE EVERYTHING SO DAMN PERSONALLY????

WHY DO I ALLOW MYSELF TO CARRY THE GUILT FOR DOING THINGS FOR ME. (or for going to a stupid school board meeting to make a statement for my kids)

Why do I feel guilty when Alex does something around the house? He is such a great help but I allow myself to take it personally when he does something that I "should have" done.

I know these are all feelings that I need to let go...but, I continue to beat myself up over this stuff like this.

For now...I really do need to get to bed. Momma needs her sleep or she'll be even MORE grumpy tomorrow.

2 comments:

preci28 said...

That's insane that the members of the school board don't want to listen to the concerns of those they represent. Hmm... I think they should think about who put them there in the first place.. I feel really bad for you and Josh having that schedule next year.

As for your scrap goodies that you are putting up for sale, have you ever tried etsy? I'm just wondering as I was thinking about selling some of my excess stuff over there and when I saw your post about ebay wondered if you had tried it....

Have a good week!

Carolyn said...

Hey! Yeah, I read the Sentinel's post. I've been pretty disappointed in their coverage of these issues. They appear to have an agenda too. I can't say I left with a "glimmer of hope". I left disappointed in their unwillingness to "listen" to the people. I also feel frustrated that our High Schoolers are feeling that it doesn't do any good to voice your opinion. It's not important enough to be heard. I can't tell you how many of them I overheard stating that. I was impressed with Karen, as well as Jim and Rick. I had to giggle at Karen's comments that she directed at the two lawyers as she was closing. I have at least 100 petitions of hardship on my desk.